just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize