Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize