Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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