I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
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You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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