Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize