I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize