I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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