I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
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Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
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I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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