On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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