North Korea, Best Korea!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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