I CAN MOONWALK!
we're making bets on your personal life
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize