Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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