I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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