My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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