The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Two words: blizzard sex
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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