Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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