420 ftw
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize