u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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