would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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