My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
they need to just BURY HIM!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize