I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
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There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
And then he peed in my hair
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