we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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