Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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