Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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