shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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