I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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