Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize