I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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