eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
not ubering you a puppy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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