the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize