My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
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Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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