News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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