can u get pink eye on your cock?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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