if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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