Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
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i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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