just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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