Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm like, not good at living.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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