All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize