We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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