I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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