How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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