Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize