Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
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We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
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Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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