sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
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I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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