So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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