Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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