I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
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She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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