It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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