The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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