I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize